A TOUGH ACT TO FOLLOW...

  

1917

She was known as Mary to her parents, brothers, and sisters; she was Marilyn to my dad and mom (or ma) to her children. Maria Saveria DeLio was born on June 10, 1917. She was christened after her mother, Maria (known as Mary) and her grandmother, Saveria. I never found out how the name 'Marilyn' came about... (I suspect that 'Mary' wasn't glamorous enough, but that's just a guess.). If truth be told, mom was also not terribly fond of her middle name. When she turned eleven... she began using her Confirmation name, Gertrude. One day, I asked her why she chose to use Gertrude instead of Saveria. Her response was, "There was a girl in my class at school named Gertrude. She was very smart, and I admired her;" exactly what one might expect from an 11-year-old girl, which was her age at the time she made that decision.

About 1928

My mother grew up in the Tri-Taylor Street neighborhood in Chicago, Illinois. She and my father lived across the street from each other on DeKalb Street. Mom was best friends with Dad's cousin, Lena, who also happened to live in the same building as my dad. I don't think it was love at first sight between my parents, but they were friends. During this time, my mother attended St. Charles Borromeo Elementary School in the 20s and William McKinley High School in the 30s. 

Maybe she wasn't the best student in school (although I don't know that as a fact), but what I do know is Mom was much smarter than she ever gave herself credit for being. She was resilient and would always push forward in her studies until she figured out the correct answer. This mindset is something that she lived in her everyday life and which she also instilled in her children.

1935 - Mom as the first sailor on the left.

1935

Once out of school, she worked as a milliner, making and selling ladies' hats. At the outbreak of WWII, she got a job in the print shop at Wieboldt's, a major department store in downtown Chicago, at that time. She remained there for several years.

There were relationships, some more serious than others over the years, that had to run their course. But once the way was cleared and through my dad's cousin, Lena…the childhood friends reconnected after years of going their separate ways. Dad was going off to the army and asked my mother if he could write to her. She said yes, and they corresponded through the U.S. mail for the next two years, seeing each other whenever he was able to get military leave. It only took 20+ years…WWII and the post office for them to realize that they loved each other. They were married within a year of Dad's army discharge on July 2, 1944, at St. Charles Borromeo Church.

               

                  Engagement Photo

Wedding Day - July 2, 1944

As a couple, my parents were a lot like Switzerland. If someone needed to talk, they were willing to listen. They would, however, avoid getting caught up in the minutia of squabbles amongst relatives or friends, unless of course, there was a direct impact on our nuclear family. Then and only then would they get involved, reviewing both sides of an issue before rendering any opinion.

First Anniversary

Mom was a kind, generous, and compassionate woman, filled with integrity. She wasn't afraid to share her opinions or speak her truth. Still, both were tempered with her innate ability to get her point across without arrogance. She never went out of her way to hurt someone's feelings or dazzle them with a know-it-all attitude.

My mother's pride in her children was evident. She loved us unconditionally, but was not blind to our shortcomings and consistently provided us with the unvarnished truth, whether we asked for it or not. We likely would have preferred a light coating of varnish now and then. But in retrospect, her method was the best way.

She showed her love for her family and friends in hundreds of ways throughout her everyday actions from the time she was a young girl until she took her last breath. My mother knew when to follow her head and when to follow her heart. She knew who she was as a person and had enough self-respect for herself and what she believed in, not to let another woman's cattiness get under her skin. Something that I'm still working on after all these years. 

Marilyn G. Pope nee DeLio… one of the strongest women I have ever known left this world on December 8, 1981, much too soon. She didn't say, "I love you" very often, but then… neither do I. Maybe because she didn't say it a lot…I knew how deeply she felt and meant those words when she did say them.

She once said to me, "Some people may lie to you or only tell you what they think you want to hear. I want what's best for you and will always tell you the truth because you're my child, and I love you." And I love you too, Mom. Rest in Peace. 

The Last Family Photo With Mom - 1980